the-german-russian-skinwalker:
My sister just walked into my room, grunted “oil” and promptly collapsed on the floor
Fuck she got possessed by america
visuals
My parents have been married thirty six years and my dad had to work a few hours early this morning (he refs hs football for extra cash), while he was gone my mom went to Dunkin Donuts to get breakfast and bought him his favorite muffin to surprise him when he came home and when he did it was with her favorite muffin from Dunkin Donuts and you know what I’m so not interested in all the cynical bs about love and marriage being fake like if that’s not some romantic shit right there idk what is.
That’s so sweet ohmygosh
it’s amazing how much my life perspective has changed over the past year
me: *adds lmao bye at the end of my will*
me @ the concept of living my life: i’ll wait in the car
no, I don’t want to see a video of your kid lip syncing and playing air guitar to a six year old katy perry song